Paternal Irony
by BuddhaBooty
Summary: I always wondered what it would be like, standing atop a whispy cumulous cloud as you are engulfed by a deadly thunderhead. I never thought I'd find out like this. Ironic, isn't it? Now with added an Po chapter!
1. My Mistake

I own nothing. Done for all those who wish Shifu and Tai Lung could just go back to the beginning. Just got my power back, so if anyone sent me anything, I'm about to check my e-mail, so I'll respond as soon as my homework allows me.

--

It's ironic, really. Here I stand, upon the edge of these stairs that, at one point, would have brought me joy and an irrefutable sense of safety just to see, knowing that I am bound to die for trying to stop a meaningless scroll from getting into the hands of a reckless villain that had been raised here, upon these steps. A villain I created.

My son.

No, I cannot think of him like that, not here, not now.

I must remember my place, my purpose. I must remember why I am fighting, why I have bestowed this death sentence upon myself.

It was my fault.

I loved my son with everything I was. He was all I spoke of, all I lived for, and by the time I realized I was pushing him too hard, forcing him to be something he was never meant to be in the first place, it was too late.

Oddly enough, I always wondered what it would be like, standing atop a whispy cumulous cloud as you are engulfed by a gray giant, a thunderhead, lightning crackling around you, pouring rain filling your entire field of vision as you are tossed about by forces beyond your control.

I never thought I'd get the chance to find out.

Mentally chuckling at life's little ironies, its ways of teaching us, I watch the trail of lanterns and villagers as they evacuate the Valley of Peace like the thousands of peach petals that floated up into the sky as my master, Grand Master Oogway, had ended. How strange it seems, now, to even consider them as one and the same, but both had left, the villagers and my master, for a better place, leaving me to drown within the high waters that continued to rise, the rip tide dragging me into an unforgiving sea of my own mistakes.

So many, many mistakes.

No, not mistakes. There are no mistakes, my master had said so. Which is what vexes me so, that my master could provide me with so much wisdom, yet when he is needed most, he leaves us, leaves me with no help in sight, no dry land in my ocean. I suppose, on some subconscious level, I keep expecting him to appear before me, make everything right, and then tell me that he had said it was his time, but not what it was time for.

Foolish hopes like that are what got me here in the first place.

But, if I'm honest with myself, it's foolish hopes like this that brought me back from the depths of my self-imposed hell twenty years ago when my son - student - was imprisoned. I need those foolish hopes to keep me sane. I need those foolish hopes to convince me that there may be land out in my ocean, despite the tossing waters and gargantuan waves that trail off in the distance in every direction.

So, for now, I'll hold on to my hopes, but, at the same time, be prepared for a fight.

Another crash of lightning, so similar to all its predecessors, brings to my attention the tall, powerful figure that stands before me.

Tai Lung.

For the briefest of moments, I hope - no, pray - that he will call me father, that he will yell at me, tell me I had pushed him too hard, then fall to pieces so I can put him back together again like when he was very young.

"Hello, Master, I have come home."

And now I know it. I have no other choice, no hope for a quick save, no prayer for my son.

He is gone.

All that is left is to clean up my mess, or die trying. Opening my mouth, I seal our fates and end my chances of redemption.

"This is no longer your home, and I am no longer your master."

And so it begins.


	2. My Revenge

I own nothing. Done for all those who wish Shifu and Tai Lung could just go back to the beginning.

A/N: This was originally going to just be a one shot, but with the number of alerts I got, I decided to write a second. If you guys want a third chapter with Po's thoughts as he's battling Tai Lung, then I want three real reviews. Thank you, and enjoy.

--

There he is, riding his proverbial high horse.

I hate him.

I hate him with every fiber of my being, every bone in my body.

I hate Shifu.

"Where is the Dragon Warrior?" I ask, rage clouding my vision in a red mist of hatred. I may have asked a simple question, but he would never understand the true meaning behind those words. He would never understand that I wanted to know why. Why had he left me? Why had he betrayed me? Why didn't he fight for me? I fought for him, dammit! I fought for him every day of my life, practiced until my bones cracked from sheer exhaustion, ran through every move a thousand times, again and again until it was perfect! I gave him my soul, and what did I get in return?

Nothing.

Now, to be fair, to be _rational_, he had looked shocked, frightened, even, when Master Oogway, that damned tortoise, had said no. That was all I was worth, apparently. A single, shocked, horrified, terrified glance back at me before he loyally turned his back on the mistake, the wrong deed, the unutterable evil he had created like a good little slave.

Damn him.

Damn them all.

I don't need them, I know I am the true Dragon Warrior, and there is no one and nothing that can stop me! I am invincible! I am impenetrable! I am Tai Lung!

"Did I scare him off?" I coolly ask, keeping a level head in the face of my old master.

He glares, and I turn away. I cannot stand to see that look of hatred, unabridged and real, turned on me. I know that this is my true weakness, my frailty, the chink in my proverbial armor. His opinion, his outlook on me, his judgment of my actions means everything. He doesn't understand! He never understood! I existed solely to please him! To make him proud!

I attack with all the hatred, pent up rage, frustration, and unimaginable sorrow, so much sorrow for the family we could have been, father and son, and effectively knock him through the palace's doors.

Leaping forward, I feel a déjà vu, I remember this moment, twenty years ago, when that damned tortoise stopped me from claiming what was mine.

We fight, father and son, student and master, creator and creation, 'Devil' and 'God', and for a time we would seem evenly matched.

But even gods can be killed if they stray too far from their havens.

I pin him to the ground with the tortoise's staff, growling out my demands. Shifu denies me yet again. I know I could take it, take the Scroll and leave, be the Dragon Warrior with or without him.

But it wouldn't be the same.

I want him to give it to me, to praise me, to love me, to be _proud _of me. As I allow my next attacks to flow through me like a dancer performing an intricate song they had practiced a hundred times before, I tell him this.

"All I ever did, I did to make you proud!" I cry, fighting back the tears that threaten to choke me. They would, too, if I let them. If I relax, allow myself a moment of silence in this room, sitting near the Pool, my tears would crawl up my throat and choke me, strangle me in the noose I wove throughout my life until I was nothing but a legend, someone to be forgotten to scrolls of history that would one day be nothing but dust.

I don't stop.

"Tell me how _proud _you are, now, Shifu!" I scream as I hit him, one fist, "Tell me!" another hit. "Tell me!!" and another until he is laying on the stairs to the Pool, panting and gasping.

"I am proud of you," he wheezes, and I freeze.

Proud?

Father, are you proud of me?

Yes, son, I am proud of you.

"I have always been proud of you," he continues, sincerity and realization hanging as tightly to his words as I am, feeling myself relax, drinking in his love, his pride, for no one else, only me.

Master Shifu is proud of Tai Lung.

"From the first moment, I was proud of you, and it was my pride that blinded me to what you were becoming, what I was making you. I-I'm sorry," he apologizes.

He apologizes.

I want to collapse, to hold him close, to let him know he is forgiven, that I still love him. Wo ai ni, baba, I would say to him, I love you, father. I would hold him close as he called me son, as we apologized through our mingling tears, as we knew, without words, we were loved, and then-

What?

I would be welcomed back to the Jade Palace with open arms? The villagers would love and adore me? The Dragon Scroll would fall into my hands and all my bloody dreams would come true?

The noose tightens, I can feel it, tears clogging my airway. I growl to breathe, teeth bared in a deadly snarl.

No, this is the only way. If I cannot return home, then I must destroy it. If I cannot be happy, why should anyone else be? What makes them so special, so worthy, that they deserve a happiness, a contentment that I can never achieve?

"I don't want your apologies!" I rumble, knowing it is a lie. I forgive him, dammit! I forgive him! Why aren't I brave enough to say that? Three, simple words, I forgive you! "I want my scroll!"

No!

My mind screams the wrongs of what I am doing as I leap forward, catching my old master in a strangling death grip.

I don't mean it, baba! I don't want you to die! I love you! Love me back, and we can live happily ever after as all fathers and sons should! All you have to do is say it, and I'll let you go! I'll let it all go! Love me, say it!

I hold him up, shouting, "Give it to me!"

Say it! I want you to say you love me!

"Never, Tai Lung, you'll never see the Dragon Scroll! Never," he gasps.

Say it, now, please!

Silver.

A silver Dragon silently crying out above me. I see it and know what it means.

The Scroll is gone.

"Where is it?" I scream, smashing the small master on the alter.

Why? Why won't you tell me you love me? What did I do, baba, to make you hate me? Why do you hate me, when I gave everything of myself to love you?

Why?

Baba, why?

It doesn't matter, anymore. This being is no longer my father, my master, or even my friend. He does not love me, so I must destroy him and take my revenge.

Revenge for what, you may ask?

For leading on an orphaned child, making him think he could gain his pride, his love, by being the strongest warrior in the land. Revenge for stealing my heart, only to smash it to pieces.

I will take my revenge on you, master, revenge for making me love you.


	3. My Belly

I own nothing. Thank you to all those who took the time to review, I appreciate them greatly, so, without further ado, I give you Po's Belly! His thoughts as he races back up the stairs of the Jade Palace.

--

Breathe…

Breathe…

Breathe, darn it! I really, _really _hate these stupid stairs! Gah, okay, so maybe I am the Dragon Warrior. Maybe I can defeat Tai Lung. Maybe I can even live through it, but these darn stairs _are _me friggen weakness!

Okay, c'mon, panda, focus, you… Woah! That is so awesome! Yeah, Master Shifu, kick his furry bum! You can-

Oh.

Oh, poop.

That is _definitely _not good. Master Shifu is thrown against the alter, Tai Lung growling above him. No! Master Shifu, you can't die! You can't!

He's going to die. If I don't get my lazy panda butt in there, he's going to die.

My father, the one I always wanted, the one who is harsh, but loves me, who understands where my interests lie, the one who sees me for what I am, and cares for me nonetheless, is going to die.

I shout for him, and the ferocious snow leopard looks up. I gaze into his eyes, so much hate, I ask, calling out mentally to him, wishing he could hear me, why is there so much hate?

"_Who _are you?" he asks mockingly. I flinch, his voice like ice scraping against my eardrums.

"Buddy," I start, trying to keep my confidence up. This is for Shifu, you're goin' down! "I'm the Dragon Warrior."

He scoffs as he lifts Shifu up, grinning madly as he laughs, "You? Him? He's a panda! You're a panda!"

Wow, real genius, ain't he?

I mean, really, I kinda figured out I'm a panda, and I'm pretty sure Shifu knew, too.

"What are you gonna do, big guy, sit on me?"

You bet your bum, pussy cat.

"Don't tempt me. Naw, I'm gonna use this," I retort in what I feel is a rather witty manor, waving the Dragon Scroll like a piece of candy in front of a little kid. "You want it? Come get it!"

The words barely leave my mouth before I find myself bouncing off one of the columns of the Palace, knocking the Scroll out of Tai Lung's paws and into my own.

Score: Panda - 1, Baddy - 0

Boo-freaking-yah!

Giggling madly to my inner self, I make a face, do a totally awesome Kung Fu battle cry, and signal him to bring it on! Yeah!

He does.

Okay, for those of you who have never bounced down the Jade Palace's stairs before, it hurts badly enough when there isn't someone kicking and clawing and biting you. When there is, trust me, it-

Wait.

Did I just-?

Yep, I did.

I sat on him.

Karma sucks, doesn't it, Tai?

Anyway, we reach the bottom of the steps - ouch - and a battle of epic proportion begins. I mean, it has everything! I'm all like, bam! Then, with giant chop sticks, fwak! Then, with fireworks, pfew! Then, I'm all jumping and climbing a building and it's all like ha-ya! Wa-ch! Awesomeness!

We finally land in the middle of one of the main streets where Tai Lung tosses me down. It's, like, a twenty-gazillion foot fall, so cut me some slack for being a little tired.

He picks up the scroll, lifting it to his face as he growls, "Finally, the secret to limitless power is mine!"

He opens it, flips it over a few times, and shouts, "It's nothing!"

Oh, man, if you could see the look on his face! Ha! Priceless!

But I'll be nice, and at least give him a chance at understanding.

"It's okay," I comfort, watching his face shift between mixed feelings of horror and disbelief. "I didn't get it the first time, either."

"What?" is all he can ask, worry cracking his voice.

Man, does this guy need to chill!

"There is no secret ingredient," I explain, hoping he'll catch on. "It's just you."

Did he get it? He looks like he gets it! Oh my gosh, I think he got it! He got it and-

Ow!

Okay, _so _did _not _get it! Geeze, that tickled! He didn't have to pinch me! I start to snicker as the effect that lingers is like tickle-freaking-torture!

Ak!

Again! I giggle harder and harder, unable to see through my tears, laughing so hard it hurts as I gasp, "Stop! I'm gonna pee! Ha, ha! Don't!"

Finally managing to pull myself up, he smacks my belly - ha, ticklish, much, here - and then I smack him in return. He goes flying through one of the walls and I can't help but feel proud, accomplished, even.

The leopard gets back up, ready to strike. I brace myself, getting into a stance before smacking him as hard as I can with my bouncy belly.

Pop goes the kitty.

Ha, he's so high, I can't get a good view of him!

And now I can, okay, moving out of the way of flying cat, _like now_, thank you very much.

Boom!

Oh.

Oh, yeah, un huh! I did it, it, boo-yah!

Mentally running around, showing off my Kung Fu awesomeness, I watch Tai Lung crawl out of the hole he made.

"You (gasp) can't defeat me. (pant) You (wheeze) you're just a big, fat panda!" he complains. Buddy, you have no idea!

Grabbing his pointer finger, keeping my expression calm and steady, I reply, "I'm not a big, fat panda. I'm _the _big, fat panda,"

Pinky, up!

"The Wu Xi finger hold!" he cries. Oh, yeah, Tai, take that!

"Oh," I begin, wriggling my eyebrows. "you know this hold?"

"You're bluffing! You're bluffing! Shifu didn't teach you that!" he cries, desperately praying that I'm making stuff up.

I grin because I'm not.

"Nope," for the briefest of moments, hope flickers across his face. I continue, casually, "I figured it out."

And I feel sorry for him.

I feel sorry for the kitten with the terror-filled eyes, pleading for a scrap of mercy as I bring my pinkie down with the last word he'll ever hear.

"Sk-doosh."

And it's over.

I stumble out of the rubble and dust, I think I blacked out when I used the finger hold, because I can't remember what happened. Oh, well, maybe someone else will tell me.

I see the villagers, hear them whisper with respect, reverence, even, my title. Dragon Warrior.

I toss off an apron that somehow got attached to my neck as a chorus of cheers echoes in my ear drums, my father's voice the most prominent as he shouts the words I've waited my life to hear.

"That's my boy!" he screams, pushing his way through the crowd to embrace me, myself returning it with vigor. "That big, lovely, Kung Fu warrior is my son!"

My head dips down as I sob, "Dad."

A pan that I hadn't even noticed falls off my head and I hear a small 'crick'. Looking up, I find the Furious Five standing before me, smiling.

Crud.

Tigress must be furious! I think I'm about to find out why they're called the _Furious _Five. I mean, _she _couldn't defeat Tai Lung even _with _all her friends, and _they've _practiced their whole _lives_, and I'm just a _panda _who fell out of the freaking _sky_, and _stole _her title, and, oh, man, I'm too young to die!!

She steps forward, smile still plastered on her face and oh, man, if I'm gonna die, at least I'll die knowing her smile. I've got to say now, before she tears me limb from limb, that she has the most beautiful, graceful, elegant, _perfect _smile I've ever seen.

Bracing myself for the worst, I croak, "Hey, guys."

I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna-

"Master."

Wait, what? Did she - did Tigress - did I just hear - did she just call me master?

Holy sh-

"Master," the others chime in as the entire Valley bows to me. Including the Furious Five.

Wow.

"Master?" I question, not sure I heard right.

And you know what? This is the perfect moment, everything _just _how I always dreamed it would be, so go figure good old conscience would choose now to remind me of Master Shifu, laying in the Hall of Heroes, possibly dead.

Darn it.

"Master Shifu!" I exclaim, racing away from the Five to ascend the steps.

Breathe…

Breathe…

_Breathe_…

Darn it! Still hate these stairs! Dragon Warrior? Yes. Master of Stairs? Hells, no!

Okay, top of steps, here I am! Yeah, okay, need to work out more. Oh, well, now's not the time.

I run into the Hall to see Master Shifu in the same spot he was when I left him.

Poop.

"Master Shifu!" I shout, falling to my knees at his side, rolling him over to hold him in my arms as a vague part of my mind is shrieking, _'Oh, dear gods! I'm holding __**THE **__Master Shifu!'_

Hey, at least I didn't say it aloud!

Azure eyes flutter open as he whispers in an ominously weak, joyous tone, "Po, you're alive. Or we're both dead."

Trust Master Shifu to bring up the morbid comedy.

"No, Master Shifu, I didn't die," _'and you won't either,' _I silently add. "I defeated Tai Lung."

"You did?" his eyes go wide with joy, and I feel an inexplicable pride well within my chest. I mean, c'mon! I didn't even know I knew that word! Inexplicable, I mean, not pride, or joy, or, um, yeah.

Anyway!

I nod, my eyes rimmed with unshed tears. Master Shifu doesn't like it when we cry, so I won't. No matter what happens, I will not cry.

If he dies, I swear to the freaking gods, I'm gonna bawl like a new born.

"It is as Oogway foretold," he continues, my attention given to him completely. "You are the Dragon Warrior. You have brought peace to the Valley, and to me. Thank you, Po, thank you. Thank you."

Closed.

His eyes closed.

His eyes closed and, oh, heavenly gods above, I think he's dead.

He is dead.

"No!" I shout, feeling the flood gates within my eyes break as tears squirm their way out and onto my face. "No, no, no, Master Shifu! Don't die!"

"I'm not dying, you idiot, er, Dragon Warrior," he barks.

Oh.

My.

Gods.

Oh, he did not!

That cheeky, little bast-!

"I am simply at peace," he whispers, closing his eyes and relaxing his form once more. "Finally."

Dang.

Okay, fine, I'll be nice. I will! I swear!

"Oh! So I should stop talking?" I ask, seating myself next to him.

"If you can," he quietly replies. I lay down.

Okay, now, I really am gonna chew him out! Dang it, he had me so worried, I thought he was gonna die! I turn to yell, then close my mouth.

What will I say?

I don't know what to say, so I turn to yell again, maybe even just random sounds.

I close my mouth. How weird would that be?

Finally, deciding I'll just say whatever comes to mind first, I open my mouth and inquire, "You wanna get something to eat?"

Wow, epic, wasn't it? Holy crud, that sucked!

He sighs and replies, "Yeah."

Oh. Okay! Sounds like a good idea to me.

Defeating Tai Lung got me hungry, anyway.


End file.
